Surviving Malfoy
by Mrs. Lovetts
Summary: Hello. My name is Joeleen Carter. My nickname is Jay. I was born on the 31st of July 1980. I grew up in New Orleans with my mother Meredith Carter. I am an only child. I went to the Salem Witches Institute from age 6. I have good grades. I am a teacher's pet. I love spaghetti and carrot cake. My favorite color is red. My favorite subject is Potions. And my life is a lie.
1. Part 1 Chapter 1

Surviving Malfoy _ Part I : Shock and Denial

Chapter 1

"Let's get out of here."

Debbie grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the door. My feet wouldn't move. My brain was still trying to process the events of the last five minutes. The stories my mother had been telling me since that old wizard had appeared on our doorstep had suddenly gotten frighteningly real.

There were exactly eleven people in this store, including me. Six of which were my age, one I had known for five years, four I should have known for five years and one I should've known for all my life. Considering the 4 adults present, there was one I couldn't trust anymore, one was a bitch, one was eyeing me suspiciously and one was the store clerk. Nearly all of them except two were too concentrated on the fight going on between three of them to notice my current state of distress. Or maybe they simply thought it was my way of reacting to wands being drawn over minor disagreements. Only one of them seemed intelligent enough to try and calm down the situation though, not that it made much of a difference. The rest of them were either too transfixed to even bother saying a word, or, as for the store clerk, acting as if nothing was happening.

"Ouch!"

I jerked and finally looked at Debbie. She pulled on my arm again and ushered me to the door, sneaking out behind my mothers back and motioning to Blaise to shut up about it. He simply nodded and went back to raising an eyebrow at his friend who was currently pulling a pair of dress robes over his head, furiously telling his mother he didn't want them anymore. Debbie pulled me up the narrow street and out of sight from the store, just as Blaise' friend and his mother left it.

"Everything alright?" Debbie asked.

"I'm fine."

I was not.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying to you, Debbie. I'm fine."

"Oh yes, because having a panic attack when you see your-"

"_Keep_ your voice down!" I looked around to make sure nobody had heard. "Are you mad? I told you nobody is supposed to know until I'm in this bloody school!"

"Calm down, Jay! You're getting paranoid, there's nobody in this street anyway."

She was right. This was supposed to be one of the busiest streets in wizarding London, at least that was what Blaise had told us. Right now it was almost completely deserted except for a few shoppers hurrying down the street as if the devil himself was after them.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Debbie asked.

"It's not a matter of _wanting_... There's just no going back anymore." I said. "Mom enrolled me at Hogwarts and I'm definitely out of Salem."

"I'm pretty sure Fox would take you back." Debbie said.

"Don't try talking me into going back. I'm already tempted... Plus you heard your mother: 'Hogwarts is the best wizarding school there is, darling.'" I tried imitating Theresa's posh british accent and high pitched voice.

"Shut up." Debbie punched my arm. "She's awful. She just wants to keep me away from Dad."

"She's nice enough to let us stay with her!"

"Come on Jay you know exactly she wouldn't let your mom anywhere near her house if she couldn't get me away from Dad at the same time."

My face hardened. It was true. Theresa wasn't my mother's biggest fan and everybody knew, no matter how hard she tried hiding it. To Theresa my mother was inferior, she was useless scam worth less than the dirt underneath her fingernails. You could see it in the way she talked to her and in the way she wrinkled her nose every time my mother entered the room. Even the house elves were treated better by Theresa than my mother. She was an abomination, worse than a muggle-born and worse even than a muggle.

It was a way of thinking I had never understood and yet it seemed pretty common on this side of the big lake.

"Your mother's a moron." I said.

"I know." Debbie said. "Come on, there's a joke shop I want to check out."

Debbie took my arm and walked towards a rather colourful shop at the end of the street. It stood out so much against the rest of the dull, grey shops around it, it nearly hurt the eye. _Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. _I looked up at the bright orange façade.

"Too much Wee in my opinion."

Debbie suppressed a laugh.

"It lightens the mood." She said smiling. 

The joke shop seemed to be the only happy place in this street, and Debbie was right, it lightened the mood. It was the first time that I saw witches and wizards laughing since I had came to Britain. The store was packed with children begging for the candies and laughing at the toys, little girls snuggling Pigmy Puffs, boys sneaking Puking Pastils into their mothers pouch and parents trying to keep track of their kids. Debbie pulled me towards a shelf with love potions with a big grin on her face. I suspiciously raised an eyebrow.

"Oh come on." She said. " You'll finally be in a school with a little male presence, try and make the most of it."

I sighed, but a small smile crossed my face nonetheless just as a store clerk in bright magenta robes approached us.

"Ladies." He said with a smug smile. He was tall. At least a head taller than me and a good ten centimetres taller than Debbie, who seemed to enjoy the sight of the young, red headed man in front of her. "I see you're interested in our love potions, not that any of you would be in need of one, I dare say."

Debbie grinned back sheepishly.

"We're not exactly used to male company." She said. "It's always good to have a backup plan."

"Well I'd be delighted to be your male company!" The man said, his eyes fixed on Debbie. "No need for the love potion. Although I wouldn't mind you buying it, as the store clerk I could make good use of the money. I'm Fred, by the way "

"How about I leave the love potions here and you show me around a little so I can see what else I can give you my money for, Fred?"

I pressed my lips together, avoiding a deep sigh.

"I'll just leave you two alone, if you don't mind." I said.

"Is there anything in particular you're looking for, darling?" Fred turned to me, still with a grin on his face.

"How about something that can make me vanish from awkward situations?"

"Instant Darkness Powder. You won't vanish unnoticed, but at least you'll vanish." He said an pointed towards a back room. "Just over there."

I gave an awkward wave and hurried away, leaving Debbie behind with her new crush. I knew it was best to leave her alone on these occasions, and just be there for the heart break. Not that that happened very often in an all-girls school...

The back room Fred had pointed me to was a lot less crowded than the main store and it seemed a lot gloomier. The products in there seemed to be made for defence rather than for jokes and there wasn't a single child in here, just two older men looking at a pair of gloves. I went further into the room, just to breathe. Only now did I realise how crowded the main store actually was and how good it felt to have some space. I moved towards a shelf filled with bright glass spheres. _Luck Orbs_ it said on the sign above it, _Help you keep your calm in the presence of a dementor_.

I had heard about the war going on in Britain, about the return of who was considered to be the darkest wizard of all times, about muggles and muggle borns being murdered or simply vanishing. It didn't affect the american wizarding world that much, at least not yet, so I only slowly came to know about it over the last few weeks. It seemed foolish to me that an entire wizarding population would put all it's faith into one sixteen year old boy, but that was exactly what seemed to be happening right now. 'The Chosen One' they called him, and just because Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort multiple times, didn't mean he could defeat him for good in the end, in my opinion.

And yet I was still here, for exactly this reason.

"Come through the back, Harry, that's where we're making the real money."

I froze.

_¨Pocket anything, you, and you'll pay in more than Galleons." _

Fred had entered the back room in the company of no other than The Chosen One. I kept my back to them, pretending to be interested in the Luck Orbs. Fred explained to him how they had developed a Defence Against the Dark Arts line and how much money they were making from it. I didn't want to eavesdrop, really, but if the opportunity to find out something more presented itself, I would take it. But the only thing I got to find out was that The Chosen One had apparently given this store some startup money, nothing more. Shortly after that, Fred was called out by one of his employees and Harry Potter remained alone.

I couldn't resist to get a good look at him, although I had already seen him once earlier. I was practically alone with him in here and he wasn't fighting with any of Blaise's friends, so I turned around discretely and took a good look at The Boy Who Lived.

He was black haired and tall. That was all I could make out from my point of view, considering he had his back to me. He looked more like my mother than me. I wasn't tall and I wasn't blacked haired, and for some reason it made me feel disappointed. I had hoped to find some connection to me in his looks, some sort of proof...

He turned his head towards me and I quickly turned back to the Luck Orbs. I just heard an annoyed sigh before the rustle of the curtain that separated the back room from the main store. I put the Luck Orb I had in hand back on it's shelf, waited a second and then followed him back to the front where I quickly found Debbie.

"Shouldn't have left you..." I said quietly.

"Something happened?" She asked. Fred had vanished fortunately.

"I went to that back room and ended up on my own with Harry Potter."

"Did you speak?!" Debbie grabbed my arm, an urgent tone in her voice.

"No, I-"

But I was interrupted by my mothers distressed yell.

"_There_ you are!" She hurried through the crowd of customers, a worried look on her face. "I was searching the entire street for you two!"

"We were just looking around, mom..." I said faintly.

"Where's my mother?" Debbie asked, looking around.

"Getting your brothers school books, darling." My mum said to her.

Debbie looked sour.

"So she didn't bother looking for me." She said annoyed.

"Yes well, I did." My mum said, a stern look on her face. "And I don't want you two running of like this. I told you, who knows who or what might be waiting for two young girls behind the next corner."

"We're sorry, Matron." Debbie said. "Jay just needed to get out of there."

I cast a look at her, astonished that she would blame me for leaving. Just as I was about to retort, my mother put a hand on my upper arm.

"Are you alright, honey?" She asked caring.

I closed my mouth again and looked at her, slightly surprised. I wasn't used to this much attention from her, I was used to sharing it with twenty other girls.

"Yes." I said. "Yes, I am."

"It's normal for you to be anxious." She said. "I just would've preferred if you would've told me where you were going before actually leaving." She turned to Debbie for that last part.

"Yes, Matron." Debbie said. "Jay just looked so panicked..."

I was tempted to kick her.

My mother looked at me, but I avoided her worried eyes. Quite frankly I didn't want this much attention.

"We're still there for you, Jay, you do know that." My mother had always been on the sentimental side.

"I know, mom."

"Ma'am Fox hasn't expelled you, honey. If anything goes wrong, or you're not happy there, don't hesitate to call and we'll take you back in in no time."

"I know, mum."

"But I still think you should try and get along at Hogwarts, get to know your roots-"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd just told me about them earlier, mother." I interrupted harshly.

I was met by my mothers stern look. As always. We'd had this conversation already, more than once. And we always ended up fighting. She was the one I couldn't trust anymore. She wasn't my mother. I looked back into her eyes, just as sternly. We had the same hazel eyes and I had always accepted this as proof of her being my mother, although otherwise we didn't share a single physical trait. She was tall and black haired, just like Harry Potter. Although her hair was flat and straight, unlike Harry Potter's. Mine was long, curly and unkempt... Maybe this was his connection to me, the unkempt state of his hair.

"I did this to protect you, Joeleen." My mother repeated for the one hundredth time.

I was sick of it. It was her only excuse and in my opinion it wouldn't have done me any harm if she'd told me who I was. What could I have done anyway? Run off to Britain towards my certain death? And yet this was exactly what she was encouraging me to do right now. With me being who I was, I was just as certain to get killed during this war as Harry Potter himself. There was no way I could survive this. And yet I was still doing it. Because I wanted to know who I was, I wanted to know where my roots lay and I wanted to know how I ended up in New Orleans.

But I didn't tell my mother any of this.

"I know, mom." I said instead. "We should get my books as well."

I turned towards the door without waiting for Debbie or my mother, I knew they were going to follow me.

I spent the next week on my own with Blaise and Theresa Zabini, as my mother and Debbie went back to New Orleans the next morning. It wasn't the most pleasant week of my life. Not with an elitist pure blood and her three house elves in the house. At least Blaise was remotely friendly. I tried getting along with him. He was the only person at Hogwarts I knew for now, apart from the headmaster, although I wouldn't exactly describe it as 'knowing' him... I ended up being glad about the first of september, although I had been dreading this day for weeks before. The simple prospect of getting rid of Theresa made me look forward to going to Hogwarts. And when the day was finally there, I bid goodbye to her by simply nodding and thanking her for the food and shelter, which she accepted with a nod herself.

We would never be friends.

"This way."

Blaise led me through the corridors of the Hogwarts express to a compartment at the far end. One boy was already there. He had his nose buried in a comic and barely looked up when we entered.

"I hope you don't mind sitting with some of my friends." Blaise said and put our trunks on the luggage rack. "Jay, this is Vincent."

I waved and Vincent simply grunted. He looked like a grunter. He was broad shouldered, with a plain round face, rather large ears and very short brown hair.

"The train's leaving in ten minutes, the others should be here soon." Blaise said and sat down next to me.

"And who exactly are the others?" I asked, more to engage him in a conversation than out of interest. I didn't know them anyway, their names wouldn't help much.

"Gregory, Pansy and Draco." Blaise said. "You've met Draco."

I frowned.

"The blond guy from Madam Malkins'?" I was starting to doubt Blaise's taste in friends.

"Speaking of the devil." Blaise said

I turned to the door just as it opened and said blond boy entered the compartment, followed by a pug-faced girl with short black hair.

"Vincent, Blaise." Draco nodded to both of them. "Redhead?" He nodded to me as well, not without a surprised tone in his voice though.

"Draco." I said plainly.

"You two know each other?" Asked Pug-Face with a frown.

"We've met." Draco said." I don't know her name though."

"Joeleen." Blaise said, before I could answer.

"Jay." I said hastily. "Please."

Draco and her sat down next to Vincent, who didn't seem to care much about what was going on around him.

"And who exactly is she, Blaise? I've never seen her here, what house is she from?" Pug-face asked Blaise haughtily.

I raised an eyebrow. It wasn't as if she couldn't have asked me directly, not that I was in the same room as her...

"You've never seen her here, because she's not from here, Pansy." Blaise said in a tone that suggested he was talking to a three year old.

"Then where are you from?" Pansy asked me this time.

"New Orleans." I said. "I'm a Witch of Salem."

"_Former_ Witch of Salem." Blaise corrected me and I cast him an evil look. Technically he was right, but still.

"Oh, so you don't know which house you're in yet." Pansy said with an arrogant look on her face.

I was getting annoyed with her.

"That question doesn't need to be answered." Blaise said with a deep sigh, he seemed to be fed up with Pansy as well. Then again, I would be too if I'd had to put up with her for years. "You'll see what that means when you're there." He said to me. "For now you'll sit with us. You'll probably be sorted after the feast, I don't think they'll put you in front of everyone with the first years."

Before I could answer though the compartment door opened again and another boy entered, he looked as broad shouldered and apish as Vincent.

"Gregory." Blaise and Draco nodded at the same time.

Gregory just waved to his friends and put his trunk on the luggage rack before sitting down on Blaise's other side without acknowledging my presence.

"So Salem Witches, huh?" Asked Draco. "What about Salem Wizards?"

"There are no Salem Wizards." I said. "There's an all boys wizarding school in Canada for all of North America."

Draco was raising an eyebrow. However, just as he was going to ask another question the door opened again and a young boy with mousy hair entered the compartment with two scrolls in his hand. Both Blaise and Pansy raised an eyebrow and Draco looked as if he was going to slap the kid for daring to enter without his permission.

"I'm looking for Blaise Zabini and Joeleen Carter?" The boy asked.

I hated my first name.

"Yes?" Blaise asked.

I looked at him quizzically and he simply handed us the scrolls before almost fleeing the compartment.

"What is it?" Draco asked, making a move to grab Blaise's scroll. Blaise, however, was quicker and snatched it away from him.

"How about letting me find out first? Ever heard about privacy of letters, Malfoy?"

Blaise proceeded to open his scroll and I followed his lead, wondering silently why they called each other by their last names.

_ Joeleen,_

_ I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Professor H. E. F. Slughorn_

"Who's Professor Slughorn?" I asked.

"I don't know." Said Blaise handing his scroll to Draco.

"You don't know your own teachers?" I asked incredulously.

"We had five different Defence Against The Dark Arts teachers in five years. The position is cursed, apparently. Slughorn must be the new one." Blaise said.

Now that was reassuring. Hogwarts was supposed to be the safest place in Britain. And yet they had cursed teaching positions?

"Why is he inviting you?" Draco asked with a sneer. "And how come I didn't get an invitation?"

"Because you're a dick, Malfoy." Blaise said this in such a serious tone that I wasn't sure if I was allowed to laugh or not. "We should go see what he wants." He said to me.

"Is this normal?" I asked as soon as we were out of earshot from the compartment.

"What? Getting invited to lunch by teachers?" I nodded. "Nope..."

We walked towards the front of the train, looking for compartment C as the train was moving through the british countryside. I followed Blaise quietly, getting a first look at my future classmates. I estimated the number of students at about 800, way more than I was used to and I wasn't yet sure if that was something I was pleased about or not. However, there seemed to be not a single adult on this train, apart from Slughorn who seemed to be hiding away in his compartment C.

"Is there anyone supervising this?" I asked, not that a a few hundred underage wizards alone on a train was worrying me.

"There's a bunch of prefects patrolling the corridors every hour or so." A bunch of underage wizards supervising a bigger bunch of underage wizards? "They don't all take the job very seriously. Draco and Pansy are supposed to be prefects, all they do is bullying people, though. "

"Then why are you friends with them?" I asked.

"I'm not friends with Pansy." Blaise said dryly. "She's just running after Draco wherever he goes. And I've known Draco since forever. It's not his fault he's like that and he can be kinda nice some times. Really." He added upon seeing my raised eyebrow.

"They're both Slytherins right?" I asked.

"You know about the houses?"

"I read Hogwarts a History." I wasn't just going to go somewhere without knowing what I was throwing myself into.

"We all are?"

"The two apes too?" I asked before thinking.

Blaise turned around to look at me. The amused smile on his face however, indicated he didn't mind if I called his friends apes or not.

"Yes, the two apes too." He said. "So which house are you hoping for?"

"You can't choose?" I asked.

"No, you don't choose." Blaise said with a laugh. "You get sorted."

"Then what are you doing in Slytherin?" Stupid mouth.

Blaise turned around again, this time without a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"No offence, but you don't seem like a Slytherin." I said.

Blaise just continued walking. I waited a few seconds for him to speak again, but the discussion seemed to be over. I didn't say another word. Who was I to judge people anyway, I didn't even know Blaise, maybe he was murdering cats in his attic and that's what landed him in Slytherin. And just because what I had read about it made it seem like the worst house, didn't mean that all Slytherins were bad people. I had only met five of them so far, even if Draco and Pansy seemed to full fill the cliché pretty well...

"I'm sorry." I said, just as Blaise was about to knock on the door of compartment C.

He gave me a weird look and shrugged. Was I over-thinking?

Blaise knocked. We seemed to be the first ones to arrive, apart from one red-headed girl and a man who I assumed to be Professor Slughorn, and old, bold man with a big silver-grey walrus mustache and rather large waistline... In fact he was currently occupying two of the compartments seats, making it look way smaller than the one we came from, even though it was considerably larger.

"Ah!" made Slughorn. "You must be Mr Zabini." He said, shaking Blaise hand without standing up.

"Professor." Was all Blaise said.

"And Miss Carter, I assume?" I nodded and shook his hand before sitting down next to Blaise. "Yes, this is going to be interesting. You see, Miss Carter is coming to us from The Salem Witches Institute this year." Slughorn said with a beaming smile to the young girl next to him. She seemed rather relieved to see us. "I don't believe you know each other, do you?" Slughorn asked turning to Blaise. Blaise shook his head no. "Blaise – may I call you Blaise?" He didn't wait for an answer. "This is Ginny Weasley, who seems to be a very talented young which!" He smiled his walrus-smile at her. "Now, are you two having a nice journey so far?" Blaise and I both nodded. "Where have you been staying until now, Joeleen? You don't have family in Britain do you?"

"No, I don't." I said. "I stayed with Blaise and his mother for the last two weeks of the summer holidays."

"Oh, so you know Theresa?" Slughorn said enthusiastically. "How come?"

I exchanged a look with Blaise and told the story we'd agreed upon with Debbie.

"Blaise's cousin was my roommate at Salem." I said. "I've met Blaise and Theresa a few times before and Theresa suggested I'd stay with her before I'd come here."

"Now Blaise, I always thought Theresa was an only-child." Slughorn asked.

_Shoot._

"Maggie is the daughter of my late fathers brother, Gwydion Zabini."

There was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" Slughorn said. "Ah! Mr McLaggen!"

In walked a broad shouldered youth with dirty-blond hair and a huge, confident smile on his face. I exchanged another look with Blaise, thanking him silently. He simply nodded. Maggie wasn't called Maggie, and Maggie wasn't Blaise's sister. But that better not be revealed. Least of all here.

McLaggen sat down just as a thin and nervous looking young man knocked on the door. Marcus Belby sat down next to McLaggen and, for the next half hour at least, Blaise and I weren't the centre of attention anymore. Slughorn blabbered on about all the now famous people he used to teach, from Quidditch players to politicians, he'd had them all and it slowly became clear to me what we were all doing here. It was just a matter of time until one specific person would be walking through the compartment door.

"Harry, m'boy!"

_No surprise._

I felt my stomach drop and quickly grabbed a cup of tea to hide behind it. Blaise shot me a quizzical look. He must've noticed mu sudden nervousness, not that he had the slightest idea why.

"Good to see you, good to see you!" Boomed Slughorn. "And you must be Mr Longbottom!"

There was another boy behind Harry Potter, he looked just as nervous as I felt. They sat down opposite each other on the seats nearest the door which made it impossible for me to look get a good look at The Chosen One. Slughorn proceeded to introduce every one of us, except Ginny Weasley who apparently new the both of them.

Belby was the first one to be interrogated by Slughorn and my assumptions started to be proven right. Belby's uncle had invented the Wolfsbane Potion. McLaggen's uncle was just as famous and on top of that he also knew the new Minister of Magic. Theresa Zabini was notorious for loosing husbands and inheriting mounds of gold. Longbottom's parents had been tortured to insanity while fighting for the good cause. And Harry Potter of course, was Harry Potter.

"Now, Miss Carter!" I'd hoped he'd forgotten I was still there. "What brings you here?"

"My mother wanted me to try out something new." I said. "And to go back to my roots. Her parents – my grandparents – were educated at Hogwarts."

"Was your mother a Hogwarts student as well?" Slughorn asked. "I might have taught her."

"I highly doubt that sir, she never went to Hogwarts."

"So she was a Witch of Salem?"

"No, Sir." I said. "She never went to a wizarding school." Slughorn looked at me quizzically. "She's a Squib, sir."

My mother had warned me about the awkward silence that followed. It was the reason she'd left Britain and went to live in the American wizarding world, she was accepted there. Slughorn quickly changed the subject.

"Which Salem house are you from?"

"New Orleans." I said plainly.

"It's one of the smallest, isn't it? How many students?"

"26 this year. Only Juneau has less students, they have 11..." I said.

"11 students for all 12 grades?" I nodded. "You see" Slughorn turned to the others. "Witches in North America attend Salem at age six already! But you're only allowed to hold a wand once your 11 as well, aren't you?"

I nodded again.

"We learn muggle subjects until we're old enough." I said.

"That's good!" Slughorn said to me. "You see, except for the muggle borns, Hogwarts students are usually being home educated before attending Hogwarts and I had a first year once who didn't even know how to write properly!"

Slughorn was the only one laughing at this.

"And now." Slughorn turned around in his seat, beaming. "Harry potter!"

I sunk back into my seat, exhaling slowly and listened to what Slughorn had to say. Harry Potter himself only nodded on a few occasions as Slughorn seemed to retell his life story. I listened closely, even though I already knew the key factors. How his parents had died, and he survived. How he had defeated He Who Must Not Be Named multiple times. I had read about all that after the Hogwarts Headmaster had come to visit my mother this summer. I had read all the articles and books I could find, but I still wanted to know more. That was what I was here for.

It was already getting dark outside when Slughorn let us go again. I was relieved and I wasn't the only one. Blaise and the red-headed girl both sighed deeply when we got out of the compartment again. Only McLaggen seemed to have enjoyed himself. Zabini ushered me passed the others and back towards our compartment where I knew, Draco, pug-face and the two apes were waiting. We returned there without speaking a word.

The rest of the journey proceeded with no further incidents, except Blaise falling onto Ape n°1's lap while closing the door. Draco resumed complaining about not being invited although his father had apparently been one of Slughorn's favourites back in the days, upon which Blaise reminded him that his father was currently in prison for being a Death Eater. Now I was seriously questioning Blaise's taste in friends. I took one of my school books out of my trunk and decided to not take part in their conversation anymore after that.

"I can see Hogwarts." said Draco, pulling me out of my thoughts. "We'd better get our robes on."

I turned around in my seat to look out of the window. I had seen pictures and read descriptions of the castle, but it looked nothing like I was imagining and even less like what I was used too. Even from far away it looked huge, with multiple towers, courtyards and bridges attached to it. I didn't even bother to compare it's size to the Salem House in New Orleans, which was really just a big mansion. How was anyone supposed to find their way in this?

I put my book back into my trunk and pulled out my black robes. The others' had a green hem and the Slytherin crest on their chest.

"Take your trunk." Blaise told me. "Just leave it outside on the platform, the house elves will pick them up and bring them to the castle."

I did as I was told and followed Blaise, Pansy and the apes to a row of carriages that would carry us to Hogwarts. Draco stood in the compartment, for whatever reason. He hadn't made it back to us before the carriage left and we had to endure Pansy whining away about where Draco could be all the way up to the class. At least Blaise wasn't friends with her.

We were ushered into a dining hall, the Great Hall according to Hogwarts a History, with four long tables, one for each house I knew, and one slightly shorter one at the front of the hall, for the teachers. I followed Blaise to the student table on the far right, the Slytherin table. I hadn't gotten a note nor had any teacher come to talk to me so far, so I simply sat down and waited for further instructions. Blaise sat down to my left and Draco joined as a few minutes later, one of the last students to enter the hall and was immediately greeted by a whining Pansy, which he didn't seem to appreciate very much.

I didn't care much about my surroundings, though. I was looking for one particular person that I just couldn't find in the crowd of students. Even as Dumbledore stood up to introduce Professor McGonagall, an elderly witch in bright green robes and a matching witches hat, the Deputy Headmistress, who was about to lead the sorting of the first years. I watched eagerly as one first year after the other went up and simply sat on a chair and got an old wizards hat put on his head. For some it took only a few seconds, others needed up to five minutes until a large crack opened on the hem of the hat and shouted the name of the house the student was to be put in. This was to be my fate at the end of the feast, in one of the back rooms, Professor McGonagall had come up to me after the sorting to tell me this.

It took Harry Potter another half hour to show up to the feast. He entered the hall through the main door and nearly run to sit with his friends, at the Gryffindor table.

Gryffindor. I had to get into Gryffindor.


	2. Part 1 Chapter 2

Surviving Malfoy _ Part I – Shock and Denial

Chapter 2

_Indeed , from antiquity until well into the Modern Ages, a physics devoid of metaphysical insight would have been as unsatisfying as a metaphysical devoir of physical manifestation._

I tried concentrating on the book in front of me, which proved to be rather difficult considering the lack of light in the corridor on which's floor I was currently sitting. I already had my wand in one hand, tip illuminated, but I still had to squint a little to be able to make out the words on the page right in front of me.

I had been in this place for less than twenty-four hours and I had already found something I absolutely hated about it. It was barely nine in the morning and I couldn't even read without a light source because there wasn't a single window in the entire 500ft long corridor. The only, not very effective, light source in here were the candles and (if you were lucky enough to find one) torches on the walls. It felt like the Middle Ages. I could of course try and find a window somewhere else, but then I would risk not finding my way back in time for my first class. I had already spent the first half hour of my free period this morning finding my way to classroom 3C on the third floor.

I missed my small, illuminated, white and sunny mansion. I wasn't used, and I didn't think I could ever get used, to this place. It was dark and cold and not even remotely close to grey in colour. Even the dormitory floors were made of black stone. The only remotely bright spot in here seemed to be the Great Hall, thanks to it's enchanted ceiling.

I sighed and glared at the dark mahogany door in front of me behind which my first class would take place. I had caught sight of my Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher at breakfast, and even he seemed dark. Black robes, black hair, black eyes. White skin due to the lack of _light_. Then again, I had grown up in a place with white walls, white ceilings, white doors, floors made of white hornbeam wood and silver doorknobs, chandeliers and frames. Maybe I was a little pampered.

I heard footsteps coming down the corridor and quickly buried my nose back in my book. I recognized the voices of Draco and Pansy and let my hair fall over my left ear, hiding my face. I wasn't particularly in the mood to talk to them. They probably weren't exactly happy with me either, if they cared at all. I had gathered from last night's conversation that Slytherins and Gryffindors weren't best of friends, or better, Slytherins weren't friends with anyone but Slytherins. I still had to figure out the benefit of houses, if there was any apart from creating tensions between them.

"Well well. The redhead got herself into Gryffindor." I didn't have to look up to know Malfoy was sneering.

Was this really necessary? Just yesterday we'd shared a train compartment and had had a somewhat decent conversation over dinner and now that I'd gotten myself into a house he didn't like, I was worthless scum? I heard Pansy snigger and chose to ignore. Draco's behaviour paired with the lack of light and warmth I was currently experiencing dampened my mood immediately. I had a hard time trying not to smash my copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ into his face when I next heard him speak.

"I didn't even think a Squib's daughter could make it into any house! I guess Gryffindor takes all the charity cases now, you'll blend in just right with Longbottom and Weasley."

Pansy didn't even bother to snigger behind her hand anymore, she outright laughed. I didn't know who Longbottom and Weasley were, yet, but I was sure they'd done nothing to deserve Malfoy's bullying. I pulled my knees closer to my face, bringing the book closer to my eyes and continued reading about the different methods of potion preparation. I wouldn't pick up a fight with Malfoy.

"Hey _loner,_ he's talking to you!" I heard Pansy snarling meanly.

"Bugger off, Pansy!"

I cast a quick look through my hair in Blaise's direction. I hadn't heard him coming down the corridor but he was now standing with the other two Slytherins, looking annoyed. They left me alone for the remainder of the wait and I was grateful for it, I much rather kept unnoticed.

I put my book away as the other students started showing up and got up from the floor. I stood opposite the door, unlike the rest of my class and an uneasy feeling started spreading in my stomach. I was the new one, I was the outcast. I didn't know any of them and by staying away I made myself noticeable. On top of that, Pansy was still glowering at me from the corner of her eye. I sighed with relief when the classroom door finally opened and Professor Snape stepped into the corridor. His eyes swept over his students before finally resting on me.

"Five points from Gryffindor for not standing in line."

My heart leapt into my throat as I slowly made my way over to the queue, keeping my head down. Talk about keeping unnoticed.

"Inside."

I sat down in the front row, on the far left of the classroom, close to a window hidden by a curtain and made the most of the little light that came through it. The room was mostly lit by candles and, from what I could make out, decorated in a rather gruesome way. I had a picture of a woman laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her guts crawling out of her mouth right in front of me and quickly looked away.

I heard wooden chair legs scrape over stone and Blaise sat down next to me. I looked up quizzically, but he simply smiled and reached for his book.

"I have not asked you to take out your books." said Snape, shutting the door and moving to stand behind his desk. "I wish to speak to you, and I want your fullest attention."

What followed was a tirade against his predecessors and a downplay of our abilities in his subject. I wasn't sure if this was all just staged in an attempt at a strict first impression or if this was his normal behaviour. The latter being more likely, I deflated slightly on my chair. He continued for about half an hour, explaining every single picture on the classroom walls and creating panic amongst us about what we were to expect _out there_ more than what was to be in our NEWTs. The second half-hour of the period was spent practicing nonverbal spells with a partner, that I fortunately found in Blaise.

I was more talented at brewing magical things together than actually holding a wand, which lead to exceptionally average results. I was pleased to see that I wasn't the only one struggling with the task. Most people simply muttered incantations and shield-charms under their breath, cheating their way through it, others, like Blaise and myself, simply stared at each other, red-faced, trying desperately to get their wands to shoot out some sort of spell. By the end of the period, only one girl, one of Harry Potter's friends, had managed to repel a jinx without opening her mouth.

"Hey!"

I was already halfway down the corridor by the time the others started to leave the classroom. I had quickly noted down the homework and then crammed my quill and wand into my bag before leaving. And now I saw Blaise running after me, not noticing his friends' looks behind his back.

"Free period?" He asked and I nodded. "I can show you around a bit if you want to."

I stared at him for a second before shrugging, _sure_.

"He's going to fuck her by mid-november."

My eyes went wide in surprise and disgust as I heard Pansy whispering behind us. Blaise however, didn't seem to have noticed.

"Oh please, Blaise is way out of her league." Draco whispered back. "And he knows it."

"Wanna bet?"

I pressed my lips together tightly and followed Blaise, waiting to be out of earshot from the two Slytherins before speaking.

"You know, you don't have to do this." I said.

"I'm not letting you get lost in the dungeons." Blaise said.

"I meant you don't have to spend your time with me." I said flatly.

"Why? Because of Draco and Pansy? Don't listen to them." Blaise said earnestly. "They're bullies who think they're better than everybody else, which they're not. And I don't care what they say."

I kept silent.

"Now come on, I really don't want you to get lost here." Blaise said.

Blaise's tour through Hogwarts took roughly an hour, which made me wonder how we were supposed to get to class on time. He showed me a few shortcuts, but even those wouldn't be very effective if you had to get from the fifth floor down to the dungeons in five minutes.

Blaise had an Arithmancy class before lunch that I hadn't, which meant that I was alone again. Even though I was grateful for Blaise's company, I hadn't expected it. I had expected him to stay with his friends, even before I'd met them. I hadn't expected him to stay with me just because his mother had been nice enough to let me stay with them or because he was Debbie's brother, and I wasn't yet sure if he was doing it out of sympathy, or because he wanted to.

He joined me again for lunch, which was curious because he decided to sit down at the Gryffindor table, earning him a few curious and suspicious looks. Draco and Pansy glared at him from the Slytherin table and I was suddenly reminded about Pansy's comment this morning.

"What are you doing?" I asked, looking up from my mashed potatoes.

"Having lunch?" Blaise said.

"This is the Gryffindor table." I said.

"So? You can sit at any table you want, unless it's an official feast." He said. "This isn't."

I decided to be straightforward for once.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Doing what?"

"Defending me, showing me around, having lunch with me?" I said. "This?"

"Because I want to?"

I glared at him.

"What?" He asked.

"You barely know me. You don't have to stay with me just because I don't know anybody just yet. You're not responsible for me just because I stayed in your house for a week, Blaise."

"Do you want me to leave?" Blaise asked, putting down the fork he'd just picked up.

"That's not what I said. I just find it curious that you're looking out for a girl you barely know although your friends are clearly against it." I said, pointing towards Draco and Pansy.

Blaise turned around on his seat to look at who I was pointing. He raised an eyebrow at Draco, who shrugged and turned back to his food.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked again.

Blaise sighed and took a mouthful of cauliflower, chewing it thoroughly and taking his time swallowing before he answered.

"Ok, Debbie might have told me to look after you for the first few weeks."

I glowered.

"Now I'd like you to leave." I said calmly.

"Why?"

"Because I don't need you to play friends out of pity." I said, my temper rising slightly.

"I'm not playing friends out of pity!" Blaise said.

"No you're not." I said. "You're playing friends out of Debbie's pity. That's even worse." I put down my knife and fork and stood up. "I have class."

I didn't wait for his answer, I simple left him sitting there and made my way down to the grounds where my Care of Magical Creatures classes were to take place. I felt disappointed. Not because Blaise had only followed me around because he was asked to, but because Debbie thought I needed someone to take care of me. She'd always been a bit patronizing, mostly because she was a year older, but to go as far as to talk someone into being friends with me was distasteful of her.

"Hey!"

I groaned and turned around, prepared to tell Blaise to fuck off, but it wasn't Blaise running after me this time.

"You're Joeleen Carter, right?" Asked a Gryffindor boy, maybe a few years younger than me. "The new one?"

I nodded.

"For you." He said handing me a roll of parchment, before leaving without another word.

I stared at the parchment for a moment. The boy hadn't said who it was from and I wasn't expecting any parchment rolls either. I unrolled it and read.

_ Dear Joeleen,_

_ I would like you to join Harry and myself next Saturday. Kindly come along my office at 9pm. I hope you are enjoying your first day at school. _

_ Yours sincerely,_

_ Albus Dumbledore_

_ PS: I enjoy Acid Pops. _

Acid Pops?

I stared at the parchment again. There was only one Harry he could be talking about and that made my stomach drop. I had a week to prepare myself for this, at least mentally. Dumbledore had told me he would arrange a few meetings over the year, but this soon?

The comment on Acid Pops was a little unclear though. I was still brooding over it when I got down to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Blaise had pointed me towards it earlier when I'd told him that I'd taken Care of Magical Creatures as a NEWT subject, which he'd found unexplainably funny. I was the first one there again, although the class was supposed to start in a few minutes.

I heard barking and turned around just to see an over-sized boarhound excitedly jump towards me. I instinctively took a few steps back so he wouldn't run me over.

"Fang!"

The boarhound stopped and turned to look at who was presumably its owner, an over-sized human.

"Sorry 'bout that." He said. "Fang, sit!"

Fang did not sit. He idly trotted over to me and started sniffing the hem of my robes.

"You the only one?" Fang's owner asked.

I looked at him quizzically.

"Ye're not from 'ere, are ye?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Ah, I'm the Care o' Magical Creatures teacher!" He said proudly. "And I'm looking fo' me class."

Apart from me, there apparently wasn't a class. Nobody else had showed up and it was slowly becoming clear to me why Blaise had found my choice of subject so funny.

"I think I'm the only one, sir." I said. "I didn't see anybody else come down here."

"Aha." I noticed a quick look of disappointment cross his face before he took a deep breath and continued. "Well. I'm prefessor Rubeus Hagrid and I teach Care o' Magical Creatures." He said, avoiding my gaze. "And this is Fang." The boarhound looked up from the hem of my robes. Professor Hagrid cleared his throat looking anywhere but my face. "As a firs' NEWT lesson I though' yer could learn 'bout Acromantulas!"

I nodded.

"Grea'! Then follow me." He said and motioned towards the forest.

"Wait! I'm going to study _actual _Acromantulas?" I asked, slightly shocked.

"Well, yeah. What else would'ya be studyin'?"

I wasn't afraid of spiders, but there was something about huge hairy creatures with eight 9ft long legs that was a bit unsettling. Even more so if they were real and alive and living in a colony like they were supposed to be.

"There's an Acromantula colony in there?" I asked, pointing into the forest.

"Yeah."

"And we're going to _see_ them?"

"Even better, yer goin' to talk to'em!"

"_Talk_ to them?"

Professor Hagrid frowned at me.

"But, _sir_." Somehow I had a problem with that word in this context. "They're going to kill us!"

"No they're not!" He said. "I know their leader. I raised him, we're goo' friends. He's sick and he needs takin' carrof. So tha's what we're gonna do, take care of'im."

I stood there dumbfounded.

"Yer not scared o' spiders, are ye?"

I looked into the dark forest, pondering over my options. I could go and take care of a giant spider with a giant Care of Magical Creatures teacher who seemed to have a soft spot for Acromantulas, or I could run. The latter seemed ridiculous, so I shook my head no and inevitably agreed to what was to be the most terrifying class I'd ever had in my life.

I did not speak with Professor Hagrid on our way through the forest, as he seemed to be brooding over something. It took us a good twenty minutes to get to the outskirts of the spider colony. The huge dome web was filled with spiders of all sizes and I took good care not to step on any of the smaller ones, figuring the Acromantulas wouldn't take it if I did. After a few steps I had the nasty feeling of hundreds of little legs crawling all over my body and I joined Fang who kept himself hidden in Hagrid's shadow. I kept my eyes down, avoiding the gaze of hundreds of black eyes following us through the web. Hagrid stopped in the middle of the colony, where we stood surrounded by spiders, closing up all around us.

"Aragog?" Said Hagrid loudly, his voice so calm he didn't seem to mind the lingering threat emanating from the colony.

"Ah, Hagrid." An old, grey Acromantula emerged from the webs in front of us. "I smell something alive. Have you finally brought something to play with for my sons and daughters?"

I got a sinking feeling. Hagrid wasn't going to feed me to those creatures, was he? Now that I thought about it, I hadn't even questioned him. Who said he really _was_ the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, he might as well be a lunatic fraud looking for some food for his pets. I instinctively pressed myself closer to a whining Fang, who had his tail between his legs himself, and closed my fist around my wand in my pocket.

"She's a student." Hagrid said. "She's here to help, Aragog, not to play."

I sighed with relief but still kept my wand in hand. Aragog's offspring was still clicking its pincers at me from all around.

"What a shame." Aragog moved to stand in front of us.

Hagrid did indeed not feed me to Aragog or his children. I was simply required to feed him raw chunks of meat, which was terrifying enough as I had to put both my arms between Aragog's 3ft long pincers and wait for him to dissolve the meat in my hands before sucking it up, while Hagrid had a careless chat with him. I nearly run from the place when Hagrid told me it was time to go again.

"Yer a Gryffindor, aren't'ya?" Hagrid asked, as he escorted me back to the edge of the forest.

I nodded, still feeling uneasy.

"Ay, I was a Gryffindor too." He said. "Grea' house! You'll make some good friends."

I did not reply. However I sensed that Hagrid was meaning to say something, which he inevitably did.

"You share a room with Hermione, then?" He asked.

I looked at him quizzically.

"I don't know." I said. "I haven't talked to any of them, I don't know there names."

"Nice girl. Bushy hair, always runs around with five books under her arm, good friends with Harry Potter?"

The girl who had managed to curse her opponent silently in Defense Against the Dark Arts class this morning. I nodded.

"I think I do."

"Try talkin' to 'her." Hagrid said. "She's a nice girl. And she needs some female company! Always hanging around with Harry and Ron..."

"Do you know them?" I asked.

"Ay, I do! They come around for tea sometimes. I was the one who gave Harry his Hogwarts Letter! Took'im to Diagon Alley and stuff, his Aunt and uncle wouldn't do it. Those muggles."

Aunt and uncle?

"Why not?" I asked.

"They're not fond o' magic. Kept Harry in cupboard under the stairs for ten years, poor boy. He grew up with them after what happened to his parents, you know."

I nodded again, hoping Hagrid would keep talking.

"They wouldn't let him go to Hogwarts at first." He said. "But from what I gathered, they're happy Harry's gone fo' most o' the year. Awful lot."

"_Most_ of the year?" I asked.

"He stays with'em over the summer."

"Where?!" I asked, maybe a bit too eagerly.

"Bit curious, aren't'ya?" Hagrid said, looking at me. "Anyway, you better get goin'. Stick with Hermione, if you need anythin'."

Hagrid left me on the edge of the forest and I run back up to the castle and down to the dungeons as fat as possible. I somehow managed not to get lost, remembering Blaise's instructions. I got to my potions classroom exactly two minutes before the start of the lesson. The class was already gathered in front of the door; four Slytherins, four Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff and three Gryffindors: Harry Potter, the girl Hermione and his other friend who, presumably, was called Ron. I deliberately ignored Blaise who was standing with the other Slytherins (Draco, Pansy and a boy I did not know) and went straight to the front of the line.

Professor Slughorn opened the door less than a minute later and I immediately noticed the familiar smell of herbs and fumes. There were four cauldrons, placed each next to a table and I sat down at the table closest to the Amortentia cauldron, relishing the distinct earthy odour of herbs and distilled plants. I bent down to get my copy of _Advanced Potion Making _just to come back up to Blaise's face, sitting opposite me. I glowered at him, he'd attracted the other Slytherins to my table, Pansy on my right and the boy I did not know to my right, Draco opposite me, next to Blaise. I kept my eyes on the table and payed them no attention.

Professor Slughorn asked us to brew the Draught of Living Death, a potion I'd been told about, but I'd never made myself. Slughorn made a challenge out of it by promising the priceless reward of a small flask of Felix Felicis. I was confident enough to be certain of my victory, I followed the recipe word for word, having the potion at the right temperature at the right moment and managed to get the right colour when expected. However, my potioneer's ego got a slight scratch as I was beaten in the end, by no other than Harry Potter. Maybe this was our connection, a talent in potion making?

I still felt as miserable as Draco looked.

My week only went downhill from there. I felt isolated. Too shy to engage in a conversation with somebody I didn't know and too proud to talk to Blaise, my dreams of making friends were slowly demolished. Harry Potter kept exceeding my abilities in Potion Making, trampling down on my ego, and I kept having to feed Aragog the Acromantula. Indeed, Hagrid seemed to be the only person I was talking too at the moment, I even managed to get myself invited for some tea for the following sunday. By a teacher.

On top of it all I had the incredibly stressful prospect of meeting Professor Dumbledore and Harry Potter the saturday before my tea with Hagrid. The closer we got to the week end, the faster my heart started beating every single time I saw Potter and I was considering standing Dumbledore up, telling him later that I had never received a letter from him. That would, however, put the fourth year boy who'd given it to me in a precarious situation and my conscience wouldn't allow that.

I took a look at my watch and let out a stream of air, my heart pumping in my chest. It was 9.04pm, saturday night. I was standing in front of the Gargoyle that marked the entrance to Dumbledore's office. It was waiting for a password, I knew that much, but I had no memory of Dumbledore ever mentioning a password to me. I kept thinking back at the time he'd spent in New Orleans, the evening discussions with Ma'am Fox and my mother, but, as far as I remembered, he'd never said anything about how to get access to his office. I searched through my bag to look at Dumbledore's letter again, before realising.

"Acid Pops?" I said, uncertain.

For a moment I thought It had failed, but a moment later the Gargoyle waved it's wings and leapt aside, revealing a stone staircase, slowly moving upwards. I stepped onto the next moving step and let it slowly move me up, dreading the approaching office door. I stepped of the moving stairs and hesitated for a moments, before faintly knocking.

The headmasters office was a large, circular room. Rows and rows of painting were hanging on the walls, beside books and various small objects. Feeble looking golden instruments were emitting faint clicking and ticking noises, standing on fragile looking tables. The middle of the room was occupied by a large desk, one large chair on on side, two smaller ones on the other. Dumbledore was standing on the right of his desk, balancing a pensive back into a large cupboard. Harry Potter was sitting on one of the smaller chairs, his upper body turned towards me.

"Ah, Joeleen!" Professor Dumbledore said, a smile on his face. "What a pleasure to see you."

"Professor." I said, nodding.

"Please, come and have a seat.

He pointed at the empty chair next to Potter and I sat down on the far edge of it without acknowledging his presence. Dumbledore sat down facing us;

"Now, I believe you know why you are here." Dumbledore said to me.

I nodded again.

"Would you like to explain the situation to young Harry here?" Dumbledore asked and I felt my face heat up. "Or would you rather have me do all the talking?"

I slightly sunk back into my chair, casting a quick glance towards Potter before nodding at Dumbledore. My heart was beating too fast for me to talk. Dumbledore smiled at me kindly before turning to Harry.

"You haven't talked so fare, have you?" He asked.

I shook my head and so did Potter.

"You see Harry, Joeleen is joining us this year from the Salem Witches Institutes of North America. But I believe you know that much through Professor Slughorn."

Potter nodded, and I leaned back into my chair in an attempt to blur out.

"Joeleen was born here in England." Dumbledore continued. "And she was only brought to New Orleans at the age of one, we believe. I was able to trace her back, even though the person who decided to hide her made quite a good job of it. She grew up in New Orleans, in the company of Meredith Carter. Does the name sound familiar?"

Potter shook his head.

"That is because she wasn't born a Carter. Meredith Carter was born under the name of Meredith Potter."

I could feel Potter staring at me, but chose to stubbornly look away from him.

"She's my aunt?" Potter asked Dumbledore.

"She is indeed." Dumbledore said.

"But how? My dad was an only child! That's what everybody told me."

Now it was my time to shake my head.

"He wasn't." Dumbledore said.

"Then how come nobody knows about her?" Potter asked.

"She's a squib." I said faintly, looking at him, daring him to comment on it, but he didn't.

"She went to a muggle boarding school in London." Dumbledore said.

"Her parents refused to acknowledge her." I said. "She was a squib, she was the shame of the family. So she finished school over here and then fled to New Orleans. All of Salem's staff are squibs, she knew she'd find acceptance there."

"And she took you with her?" Potter asked.

I nodded.

"So your my cousin?"

I exchanged a quiet look with Dumbledore before slowly shaking my head, avoiding Potter's gaze again.

"What do you mean no?!"

"Harry," Dumbledore said. "She is your sister."

"That can't be." Potter said with certainty.

Dumbledore and I kept quiet.

"There are no pictures." Potter blurted out. "And how come nobody remembers mom and dad had a second child?! Do you really think Sirius would've kept that from me?!"

"I know that, Harry." Dumbledore said.

"Than why do you believe her?!" Potter said, rather loudly.

'What do you think I am?" I asked turning to him. "A fraud? Trying to get some fame here? I didn't know anything about this until a few weeks ago either, _Potter._"

"Now there." Dumbledore said. "I have my theories about how Joeleen disappeared. But you'll have to trust me here Harry, she is your sister."

Potter crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking sternly back at Dumbledore.

"Good." Dumbledore said. "That is all for now. I'll send you both a letter about our next meeting. Good night to the both of you."

And just like that I was leaving Dumbledore's office again, with a lump in my throat. Potter was standing right behind me on the moving staircase, but neither of us said a word until we were out I the corridor.

"You could've told me." Potter said furiously.

"What? That I'm your sister?" I asked. "How was I supposed to do that? You would've taken me for a lunatic! Seriously, how would you have reacted if some random girl came up to you saying she's your sister?"

Potter didn't answer.

"Don't be stupid." I said, as furious as him, and stormed off, leaving him in the corridor.


	3. Part 1 Chapter 3

Surviving Malfoy _ Part I – Shock and Denial

Chapter 3

The first thing I noticed that morning was the sunlight burning through my eyelids as I slowly woke up. Someone in this dormitory had the unnerving habit of opening the curtains as soon as they woke up, even if it was 7am on a saturday morning. I let out a faint sigh and rolled over, opening my eyes to the red glow of light created by the red curtains of my fourposter bed. I picked up the hem of one between two fingers and peaked through them, checking the number of people in my dormitory as I'd done every morning over the last few days. Since my meeting with Dumbledore and Potter, to be precise.

The dormitory seemed to be empty and, checking my alarm clock, I realised it was already ten in the morning and not seven, as I'd expected. I groaned, too late for breakfast. I'd been going to bed late, waking up earlier or later than everybody else and skipping meals to avoid running into Potter or his friends. Even though I was still hoping he had kept quiet about the whole situation, I had the sinking feeling he hadn't. His friends kept casting knowing looks at me, although none of them had yet come up to me.

I knew from Dumbledore that a few teachers were aware of who I was, the heads of houses mainly, and I didn't mind. What I did mind were students knowing. I knew I could trust teachers, at least I trusted Dumbledore's judgement, but I couldn't trust the students. If news like these slipped, they would spread like wildfire, and I wasn't ready to be outed as Harry Potter's sister. Being thrust into the spotlight wasn't the only problem, students knowing meant a great risk to my security. _And _that of my mother. I was aware that a few students here had relatives on the dark side, Draco for one and probably a few other Slytherins.

I slipped out of bed and quietly went over to the bathroom, quickly knocking on the door, just to be sure, but, just like the dormitory, the bathroom was deserted. I kept my head down on my way to the great hall for an early lunch, just as I'd done over the last week. The Gryffindor table was surprisingly empty for a saturday morning, there were only a few first years sitting at it when I sat down and served myself some mashed potatoes. I frowned and looked around, except for the Slytherin's, all the other house tables seemed about as empty as Gryffindor's. I wondered why, maybe I had missed something..?

I caught Blaise's eye and raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, he just shrugged at me from the Slytherin table, indifferent, and turned back to his lunch. Draco, sitting next to him, had noticed the exchange and shot me a mocking look, an evil grin on his face. I scowled at my plate and quickly finished my food. Hagrid had invited me for some tea this morning anyway, there was no need for me to sit around and make a fool of myself in front of Blaise and Draco for not knowing what was going on in my own house. I swung my bag over my shoulder and made my way out of the castle and down to Hagrid's hut. On my way there I got an explanation for the emptiness of the Great Hall. The sound of laughter and shouting drifted over to me from the Quidditch field. I sighed, it couldn't be a match this early in the year and with the Slytherin's missing, so I wasn't missing much.

I knocked faintly on Hagrid's door and instantly heard Fang scraping at it from the other side.

"_Get down, Fang!" _I heard Hagrid's familiar voice coming out of his hut. The door swung open, and sure enough my ears were being licked by Fang a second later. "_Get down!_ Bloody hound." Hagrid shouted and I laughed. "Sorry 'bout that. He's go' no manners."

I sat down in what had become my usual spot over the last two weeks, an over-sized armchair next to Hagrid's fireplace, and accepted a large cup of tea from Hagrid with Fang drooling along with his head on my lap.

"How's Aragog?" I asked Hagrid, scratching Fang behind his ears.

"He's ok." Hagrid said, his voice a bit hoarse, indicating Aragog probably wasn't ok. Sure enough, Hagrid started sniffling lightly. "No he's no'." He continued. "He can't keep down the meat anymore! I had to get him giant grubs." He said and pointed at a large pot in the corner. I quickly put back the rock cake I had picked up at the sight of the foot-long maggots filling it. "We'll 'ave to cook'em." Hagrid said. "Mash'em, so he can jus' drink it." I wrinkled my nose at the thought of my next Care of Magical Creatures lesson. "So 'ow's school bin?" Hagrid asked me, reaching for a large bowl of potatoes that he started peeling.

"Quiet." I said, truthfully.

"You try'na talk to Hermione?" Hagrid had asked me this question several times since my first lesson with him.

I shook my head.

"Still hidin' away?" He asked.

"I'm not hiding." I said forcefully and Hagrid shot me a look over his potato peels.

"You shoul' talk ter people." Hagrid said as I groaned. "Get to know'em a bit, make some friends."

"I talk to people!" I said, frowning.

"Who?" Hagrid asked.

"You." I said stubbornly and Hagrid huffed.

"I don' count." Hagrid said. "Wait a minute." He continued before I could answer.

Hagrid was glaring out of the window at something that was happening in his pumpkin patch and stood up, throwing his knife on the table with more force than necessary. Hagrid went over to his back door and opened it.

"Oi!"

I craned my neck and tried to get a look past Hagrid, but Hagrid was blocking the entire door and I couldn't make out what was going on outside.

"Git away from him! He'll have yer fingers – oh. It's yeh lot."

Hagrid stood in the doorframe for a split second before turning back around and slamming the door shut behind him. Fang pricked up his ears and looked curiously up at Hagrid, who sat back down in front of his potatoes, mumbling angrily.

"Who was that?" I asked, tentatively.

"No one important." Hagrid said darkly.

However, a second later there was a loud knock on the back door and a male voice shouted from outside.

"Hagrid! Open up, we wan't to talk to you."

Hagrid didn't react.

"If you don't open the door, we'll blast it open!"

Hagrid shot such a nasty look at the door that I instinctively shrunk back into my seat. There were muffled voices coming from outside, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Stand back!" It came from outside again and Hagrid stood up forcefully and stormed to the door, flinging it open. Fang and I jumped slightly from the _bang_ it made when it collided with the wall.

"I'm a teacher!" He roared. "A teacher, Potter! How dare yeh threaten ter break down my door!"

I shrunk even further back into my seat as I realised who Hagrid was shouting at. There was no way out of this for me and I could only hope Hagrid would send Potter and his friends away. My heart started hammering in my chest again and Fang started whining in my lap looking up at me.

"Ssh." I made, petting his head lightly in an attempt to keep him quiet.

"I'm sorry, _sir_." I heard Potter saying from outside.

"Since when have yeh called me 'sir'?" Hagrid said, looking stunned.

"Since when have you called me 'Potter'?"

"Oh, very clever," growled Hagrid. "Very amusin'. That's me outsmarted, innit? All righ', come in then, yeh ungrateful little..."

Mumbling darkly, Hagrid stood back to let them pass and I instinctively leaned back into my armchair.

"What's she doing here?" Asked Potter's ginger friend. All three of them sat down around the table at which Hagrid had been peeling potatoes.

"She's a studen'." Hagrid answered him violently. "A mush nicer one than yeh lot!"

"Hagrid-" Hermione started but she quickly fell back into silence upon seeing Hagrid's face.

I kept quietly in the background, scratching Fang's ears, who still had his head on my lap. The ginger, Ron from what I'd gathered, was shooting me irritating looks from across the table.

"Well?" said Hagrid grumpily. "What's this? Feelin' sorry for me? Reckon I'm lonely or summat? Well, guess what, I'm not." He said, pointing at me.

"No," said Potter at once. "We wanted to see you."

"We've missed you!" said Hermione tremulously.

"Missed me, have yeh?" snorted Hagrid. "Yeah. Righ'."

Hagrid started rummaging around his cabin, brewing fresh tea and putting some more rock cakes onto the table.

"Hagrid." I said quietly. "I think I'm going to go, I still have that-"

"_Yer_ not goin' anywhere." Hagrid said, pointing a mug at me. "'Tis yer time to prove yeh can talk ter people. Maybe yeh can even get these here of me back." He swung the mug in Potter's direction.

"That's unfair!" I said getting irritated at him.

"Hagrid." Hermione said timidly, but she was completely overheard by him.

"Why should I be the one who has to put up with them?" I retorted, earning myself a defensive "_hey!_" from Potter and Ron.

"Yeh know exactly why." Hagrid said, putting three enormous mugs full of hot tea on the table.

"What if we don't want to put up with _her_?" Ron asked and I shot him an angry look. "You don't even know what she is!"

"I know _who_ she is." Hagrid said, threateningly pointing a finger at Potter. "An' that makes it even worse!"

"You know?" Potter asked surprised.

_Wait._

"You told them?!" I asked Potter startled, realising what Ron had said just a few seconds ago.

"'Course I did!" Potter said to me. "They're my friends."

"And who gave you permission to do that?!"

"You told Hagrid!"

"I did NOT."

"Oi! Calm down." Hagrid slammed the plate of rock cakes back onto the table. "Both of you. Dumbledore told me." He said. "And yer can trust these two, stop makin' a fuss about evrythin'!"

"I'm not making a fuss about-" But I stopped mid-sentence and shrunk back into my seat as Hagrid shot me a nasty look.

"Can't we just all calm down?" Hermione asked faintly again, looking up at Hagrid, probably hoping as much as I did he wouldn't use his knife for anything else than peeling his potatoes. "There's nothing bad about us knowing." She said to me and I glared at her.

"Scared somebody's gonna find out about your fraud?" Ron asked meanly.

"_Ron._" Hermione said.

"Tha's the stupidest thing I've ever heard comin' from yeh." Hagrid said.

Ron huffed before answering.

"Then please enlighten us as to what happened when you vanished." He said mockingly.

"I don't know." I said truthfully. "I was a year old, _idiot._"

"You must know _something._" Hermione said, a lot nicer than Ron. "Didn't your aunt ever tell you where you were from?"

"She raised me as her daughter." I said. "Up until Dumbledore showed up I didn't even know she wasn't my real mother. All she told me was that she found me on her doorstep a good _month_ before my real parent's died. There was no note, no letter, nothing. She herself didn't know who I was. She'd never seen me, or _you_" I turned to Potter. "before. She doesn't know who took me away, nor why there isn't a single picture of me with my parents. There isn't even a birth certificate." I said. "Happy?"

"Than how can you be sure you're Harry's sister?" Ron asked.

"Wanna take a genetic test?" I asked him mockingly.

"What-" He started.

"Forget it." Hermione interrupted him.

"We have to trust Dumbledore." I said. "He says he knew I existed all along and spent the last few years looking for me, apparently. And _no_" I said, looking at Ron. "I do not know how Dumbledore knows about me, or how he managed to find me and how he can be sure he found the right girl."

"He'll tell us at some point. He likes keeping things secret until its inevitable." Potter said darkly. "_Or_ he'll let us find out by ourselves."

I sighed.

"In the mean time." I said. "Would it be too much to ask to _not_ share that secret with anybody else?"

"You can trust us." Hermione said. "Would it really be _that_ bad if anybody knew?"

I frowned.

"Who else did you tell?" I asked her calmly.

"No one!" She quickly said, holding her hands up in defence. "I was just wondering..."

"Listen." I said. "I'm not particularly _thrilled_ at the idea of facing the threat of imminent death every time I leave the house like he does." I said, pointing at Potter. "Nor does my mother. I'd appreciate it greatly if this peace of information wouldn't reach the ears of certain students with family members among the ranks of Voldemort."

"Zabini doesn't know?" Potter asked.

I looked at him grimly.

"No, Blaise doesn't know." I said. "And he won't find out anytime soon. And if anybody else does, I'll skin you alive."

Potter and his friends kept silent as Hagrid continued peeling his potatoes and I continued scratching Fang's ears.

"What are they?" Potter asked after a few minutes, noticing the large pot of giant grubs in the corner.

I seemed to be dismissed. Neither of them asked me another question, instead they started discussing Aragog's health and I got a pitying look from Hermione when they heard about the content of my Care Of Magical Creatures lessons. The atmosphere lightened considerably overtime. Hagrid kept the conversation going, asking us about our first two weeks of school and I learned a great deal about which teachers to avoid and which ones to trust (although I already had a pretty good idea after two weeks). I learned that Harry, Hermione and Ron had given up Hagrid's subject for their NEWT years due to schedule problems (although I doubted that, having experienced Hagrid's lessons first hand), which explained Hagrid's initial grudge against them. Hagrid's mood lightened considerably over the course of the afternoon, however. He actually looked quite cheerful by the time he waved us off the premises at dusk and I made my way back up to the castle with the three others.

We were all starving by the time we entered the Great Hall. Harry, Hermione and Ron hadn't eaten since breakfast as they'd all been to the tryouts for the Gryffindor Quidditch team all morning. I learned that Harry had been made captain of the Quidditch team this year and he'd chosen Ron as his keeper, with his only other choice being the unpleasant bloke McLaggen, who I knew from Slughorn's lunch on the Hogwarts Express.

We'd barely made three steps into the Great Hall when said teachers wobbled over to us and blocked our way to our well-earned food.

"Harry! Harry, just the man I was hoping to see." He boomed, smiling brightly. "I was hoping to catch you before dinner! What do you say to a spot of supper tonight in my rooms instead? We're having a little party, just a few rising stars. I've got McLaggen coming, and Zabini, the charming Melinda Bobbin. And of course I hope very much that Miss Granger and Miss Carter will favor me by coming too."

I growled inwardly at the idea of spending an evening with Blaise and McLaggen.

"I can't come, Professor." Harry said at once. "I have detention with Professor Snape."

_The lucky bastard._ I thought, and Hermione seemed to think along the same lines. Ron just glowered, his presence hadn't even been acknowledged by Slughorn. Slughorn insisted on having Harry, Hermione and myself over for supper later that evening. He promised Harry he would drop Snape a note, telling him to postpone his detention, something rather unlikely. As a result, Hermione and I ended up having to watch Harry and Ron eating their dinner with the prospect of having forced supper with Slughorn, Zabini and McLaggen later that night.

Neither of us was very happy about this. Hermione and I both made our way to Slughorn's office sulking, but driven by hunger. At least the food was worth the wait, we were greeted by the smell of roast beef and pheasant, steamed vegetables and basmati rice. Hermione sat down next to the ginger girl I'd met in Slughorn's compartment two weeks ago, Ginny, and I sat down on her other side.

"Ginny, this is Joeleen." Hermione said. "We share a dormitory."

"Just call me Jay, please." I said waving at Ginny, who smiled at me.

"You're the new one from America, aren't you?" She asked.

"She is."

I turned around to look at who'd spoken and instantly regretted it.

"Blaise." I said annoyed as he pulled back the chair next to mine.

"Jay." He nodded and sat down. "Granger, Weasley."

I sighed loudly.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone, Blaise?" I asked him.

"You did." He said. "But I much prefer your company to Belby's."

I looked across the table to Marcus Belby, who was currently shovelling some pheasant onto his plate, not waiting for Slughorn, the host, to even appear.

"Charming." I said, both commenting Blaise's argument and Belby's behaviour.

I turned away from Blaise, not wanting to engage in a conversation with him now. There was only a handful of students present, including the students from the Hogwarts Express lunch and three new faces, a fair-haired Ravenclaw seventh-year that Slughorn introduced to us as Melinda Bobbin, a very small looking first-year with big blond curls called Dahlia Fawn and a sixth-year Slytherin boy Theodore Nott, that I'd never noticed in any of my classes. Slughorn sat between the new Slytherin boy and the first-year, keeping up a gleeful chat with the latter, who seemed to feel a bit out of place between all the older students.

"Do you know him?" I whispered to Blaise pointing at Theodore Nott. "I've never seen him around."

"You just never noticed him." Blaise said, putting some vegetables onto my plate and then his. "He likes keeping in the background, he's sort of a loner.. But really he's a sick bastard."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I've shared a dormitory with him for the last five years, believe me you don't want to know what he does under his covers."

"No, I do not." I said dryly. "How come you even know what's going on under other people's covers?!"

"The guys in my dormitory aren't exactly discreet." Blaise said smirking. "I mean, I get that the two apes don't have enough brains to keep quiet, but even Malfoy doesn't know how to behave and he's supposed to be civilized."

Hermione snorted into her cup of pumpkin juice.

"What's that Granger?" Blaise asked.

I glowered at him and patted on Hermione's back as she cuffed.

"There's a few things I did not want to know, Zabini." Hermione said.

"And I always thought you had a certain interest in him." Blaise sighed theatrically. "There goes my ship."

"Blaise." I said warningly as Hermione wrinkled her nose at him.

"My apologies Zabini, but I'm not interested in ferrets." She said.

"A ferret's not too different from a Weasel." Blaise said. "And I've heard you take a great interest in those."

Hermione turned bright red and I furrowed my brows at Blaise, although I didn't exactly understand where his comment was coming from.

"How-" Hermione spluttered.

"I notice things, Granger." Blaise said and took a swift sip from his cup.

"What do you do all day, Zabini?" I asked darkly. "Is your life that boring that you have to spy on other people?"

"No." He smirked. "I just like being entertained by them."

Hermione turned back to her plate, visibly irritated at Blaise's comments, and started attacking her food. I glowered at Blaise before picking up my knife and fork and cutting up my pheasant.

"Now come on, don't be offended." Blaise smiled slyly.

"Gosh. You're worse than your sister." I said grimly, chewing on a peace of meat.

I noticed Blaise tensing up out of the corner of my eye and looked at him quizzically. I realised what I'd said only as I saw him looking at me with a mixture of terror and anger in his eyes. I quickly looked around, nobody seemed to have noticed.

Apart from Hermione.

"Sister?" She asked, interested.

Blaise shot her a look of utter disgust.

"Cousin." I said, trying to save the situation. "I meant cousin." Hermione raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm sorry." I said quietly, shrinking back at the look on Blaise' face.

Blaise shot me another nasty look before turning back to his food. He didn't say another word all through dinner, but I knew he wasn't done with me, he simply couldn't cause a scene in this situation. I knew Hermione didn't believe me, she kept shooting me quizzical looks, but I kept my eyes fixed on my plate. My chest felt tighter and tighter the later it got. I was trapped between Hermione's inquiring looks and Blaise's threatening silence. I knew we could probably trust Hermione, if she wouldn't tell anyone about me being Harry Potter's sister, she probably wouldn't tell anyone that Blaise's father had survived his mother's murder attempts, at least for Debbie's sake.

However, Blaise wasn't aware of that and he made me feel it as soon as we'd left Slughorn's dinner party. McLaggen had decided to make a detour and Neville Longbottom, a fellow sixth Gryffindor as I'd found out, had gone off to the washroom, which meant Hermione and I were alone on our way back to Gryffindor tower. Blaise appeared in a matter of seconds, grabbing Hermione's wrist and pointing his wand at her throat.

"I swear to you, mudblood, I hear you say one word about this to anyone, _anyone_, and next thing you know, you're six feet under. Is that clear?!" He shouted her.

Hermione's eyes went wide as she tried to push against Blaise's chest.

"_Blaise!_" I said, keeping my voice down hoping he hadn't woken anybody up. "Get off her!" I said pushing myself between them.

"I don't even know what's going on, Zabini!" Hermione said, wrenching her wrist out of his grip.

Blaise looked down on me, a murderous look on his eyes.

"I'm sorry." I said, taking a step back to bring some distance between us. "Okay? It just slipped out!"

"And how do I know it won't slip out again?" He asked, his wand still pointed at Hermione and me.

"It won't." I said calmly. "It won't, Blaise, I swear! I'm not talking to that many people anyway!"

"I still have to make sure the mudblood keeps quiet." Blaise said, shooting another murderous look at Hermione.

"Don't call her that!" I said, a bit too loud.

"Seriously, Zabini." Hermione said angrily. "I have no idea what's going on and I quite frankly I don't know what the big deal is about you having a sis-" Hermione's eyes went wide in sudden realisation. "Your father's still alive, isn't he? Your mother's first husband? Isn't he supposed to be dead?"

"I dare you, Granger, I _dare _you. Say that again and I'll cut you in two right here!"

"Jeez, Blaise! Calm down!" I said to him, putting my hands up to keep him at distance as he raised his wand at Hermione's throat again. "She won't tell anyone! You won't, will you?" I turned to Hermione.

"But he could testify-"

"_You will not_ get my mother into Azkaban." Blaise shouted.

Hermione stumbled backwards.

"_Blaise!_ Stop shouting, you're gonna end up waking the teachers!" I said. "Hermione, please, keep quiet about this! It's not just about Blaise, it's about Debbie too."

"Blaise's sister?" Hermione asked.

I nodded.

"She's a close friend, we shared a dormitory at Salem. Would you just _please_ not get them into trouble?" I pleaded with her.

Hermione's eyes shot back and forth between Blaise's wand and my face, and then she slowly nodded.

"Granger." Blaise said, dangerously low. "If I hear one _single_ word about this from _anyone_ you're both dead. Is that clear?"

Hermione nodded again and I shot Blaise an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Blaise." I said again. "Really."

"Stop apologizing, Carter." He said angrily. "Your apologies won't help my mother if the mudblood doesn't keep quiet."

He stormed off without another word to us, not looking back, and Hermione visibly relaxed.

"How can you be _friends_ with him?" Hermione asked me after a few seconds.

"I'm not friends with him." I said. "Debbie asked him to look after me, that's why he's been hanging around me all this time. Guess that'll change..."

I was wrong.

Over the next days, Blaise always kept somewhere close to us, sitting down next to me in class as he'd done before, always keeping an eye on us at dinner and somehow always lurking somewhere in the background. He stayed carful enough to keep Harry and Ron oblivious, but after a week he started visibly creeping Hermione out.

"That's ridiculous." Hermione said. We'd just sat down at a table in the library with the intention of doing our potions homework, and sure enough Blaise had sat down at a neighbouring table less than a minute enough. "I've had enough." She said and picked up her books. I looked at her quizzically as she stood up, grabbing her quill and parchment and swinging her bag over her shoulder before storming off to Blaise's table. I quickly gathered my stuff and moved to follow her. "If you have to stalk us, at least let me make your job easier." Hermione let her things fall onto the table and sat down opposite Blaise.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Blaise said innocently.

"Oh please, you're always sneaking around us like a creep." Hermione said. "Don't think we don't notice."

"I'm simply ensuring my mother's safety." Blaise glared at her and Hermione frowned.

"You're paranoid." She said dryly. "Can't you just trust our word?"

Blaise raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm a Slytherin, Granger. I don't even trust Malfoy and I've known him for sixteen years."

"Can't you let out your trust issues on somebody else?" I asked him. "In the meantime you're creeping us out. We like to have some privacy too, Zabini."

"I'm giving you privacy." He said. "I'm not eavesdropping."

I raised an eyebrow at him."

"Not really." He rectified.

"Blaise." I said. "I'll say this one last time. I won't tell anyone your mother's a murderous bitch. I have no intention of getting Debbie or your father into trouble for concealing a crime. And neither does Hermione."

If looks could kill I would've dropped dead upon calling Theodora Zabini a murderous bitch. I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arm, looking expectantly at Hermione who nodded.

"Your secret's safe with us." She said and then opened her copy of _Advanced Potion Making_.

Blaise stood silence for a minute or so, before looking at both of us and nodding. I sighed thankful and then went back to my essay like Hermione.

"You can leave now." I said dryly to Blaise as he still hadn't moved after a good quarter of an hour.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Maybe I have some stuff to do here as well, Carter?" He said.

"Then why aren't you doing it?"

His book still lay unopened in front of him, his parchment blank and his quill still free of ink. Blaise sighed.

"Which essay are you writing?" He asked grabbing his quill.

"Golpalott's Third Law." Hermione said, without looking up.

I frowned as Blaise picked up his textbook. He stood at our table and we continued working in silence for the next two hours or so, only interrupted by Blaise's occasional questions regarding antidotes.

He stopped lurking around us after Hermione's hearty intervention. However, he kept doing his homework with us in the library, with the result that after a few week a tender bond had developed between us. Blaise started walking to classes with us and joining us for meals when Ron and Harry weren't around, not minding Draco's taunts or Pansy's suspicious looks. He'd stopped calling Hermione a mudblood and even managed to crack a smile from time to time, keeping up small talk. Neither of us was sure if he was still staying with us to keep an eye on our conversations, but after three weeks he'd become somewhat of a friend, at least pleasant company Hermione and I didn't mind. And he kept us distracted during Slughorn's frequent dinner parties...

I was sitting by my own in the Gryffindor common room one sunday evening in mid October. Hermione, Harry and Ron had gone to Hogsmead for the day but I'd had to stay at Hogwarts to catch up on some transfiguration homework I had difficulty with. I was interrupted however shortly before dinner by a distressed Harry. He strode through the common room followed by Hermione and Ron, all three with their winter cloaks still on and looking tousled.

"What's going on?" I asked when they sat down beside me.

"Katie was attacked." Harry said. "A student."

"What do you mean attacked?"

"She was cursed." Hermione continued. "Somebody slipped her a package with a cursed necklace in it and imperiused her so she would bring it up to the castle. She accidentally touched it, she's at St Mungo's..."

"Who do you think it was for?" I asked.

"Dumbledore, maybe?" Harry said. "Can't have been me or she would've just given it to me on the way back, we were walking just behind her. Anyway, we think it's Malfoy."

"_We_ don't think anything, Harry." Ron said, an exhausted look on his face. "_You're_ the only one thinking that."

"And Malfoy wasn't in Hogsmead, Harry!" Hermione said. "You heard McGonagall, he can't have done it."

"He could have sent Crabbe or Goyle." Harry said.

"Those Apes don't have enough brains to pull off an imperius curse." I told him.

"Zabini then?"

"No." Hermione and I said in unison.

Harry raised an eyebrow at us.

"What, because he's nice to you two?"

"Believe me, Blaise isn't like that." Hermione said.

"Oh, it's Blaise now, is it." Ron said mockingly and Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

"Well, maybe _Blaise_ knows something." Harry said.

"What are you suggesting?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"That you two go and investigate." He pointed at Hermione and me.

"Harry." Hermione said forcefully. "Malfoy is sixteen. I told you already, Voldemort isn't thick enough to allow a _teenager_ to join his ranks, no matter what you heard on the Hogwarts Express."

I frowned at Harry.

"Malfoy's just boasting around his friends." Ron said. "There's no way Malfoy's a Death Eater."

Harry grumbled at them.

"There is a chance." He said darkly. "Just try and get something out of Zabini, will you?"


	4. Part 1 Chapter 4

Surviving Malfoy _ Part I – Shock and Denial

Chapter 4

_"Malfoy!_"

A thick branch of wood had tangled itself around a tuft of my hair, painfully pulling on it, while I tried to retrieve one of the pods from the Snargaluff stump in front of me.

"I'm trying!" Malfoy shot back at me. He had grabbed the branch and tried to keep it from pulling out my hair, in vain.

I pulled hard on the slippery pod, tugging it out of the stump that immediately ceased it's attack on my hair and let it fall into a bowl Blaise was holding out for me. I rubbed the sore spot on the back of my head.

"Thanks for nothing." I said irritably.

"Baldness suits you, Carter." Malfoy said, a slick grin on his face.

"Sod off." I was indeed missing a few strands of my hair, I'd have to regrow that tonight.

"Could you two stop bickering and help me over here?" Blaise asked who was trying to squeeze open the pod in the bowl.

"We're not _bickering_." I said. "And don't squeeze it like that, use the hammer."

Blaise rolled his eyes at me.

"You do it then." He said annoyed.

I gladly left my spot next to Malfoy, grabbed the hammer and used it to smash open the pod, releasing the pale green tubers inside into the bowl.

"'_Slug Club_'" The hateful sneer came from the neighbouring table, making all three of us turn around to look at Ron and Hermione, just to hear the latter say "We're allowed to bring guests and I was _going _to ask you to ask you to come, but if you'd rather I _hooked up with McLaggen..._"

I raised an eyebrow at the comment.

"See?" I turned to Blaise. "That's bickering."

Blaise snorted.

"À propos Slug Club." He said. "D'you know who you're taking to Sluggie's christmas party yet?"

"Nope." I said. "I was thinking about maybe going solo with Hermione, but that plan's changed..." I looked over to their table, both Ron and Hermione were slightly red in the face and Harry seemed to avoid both their gazes.

"Well we could go together." Blaise said. I raised my eyebrows at him. "As friends." He added.

"I thought you were going to take me!" Malfoy said.

"And have half the school think we're dating? Honestly Malfoy, it's not worth it."

I snickered and Malfoy shot me a nasty look.

"How about you two go together?" Blaise asked sweetly.

Malfoy raised his eyebrows at him.

"Oh no, it's definitely not worth _that._" He said and I shot him a nasty look.

"Let's bet-" Blaise said gleefully.

"I'm not taking him, Blaise!" I interjected.

"On tomorrows match." He continued, ignoring me. "Slytherin wins, you're taking Draco. Gryffindor wins, we're going together."

"_Hell_ no!" I said.

"I'm in."

"_What?!_"

"Turn down the volume, Miss Carter." Professor Sprout said forcefully from across the greenhouse. "If you don't mind."

Indeed, I had earned myself a few quizzical looks from my fellow classmates.

"What are you going on about Malfoy?" I asked, more quietly this time.

"Slytherin won't win anyway, might as well make Blase shut up and go in on that bet." He said matter-of-factly.

"Not very confident in your own house, are you?" I said.

"I'm not playing." Malfoy said darkly. "Montague's playing Harper instead. Slytherin's doomed."

"So then it's settled." Blaise said, a wide grin on his face. "Slytherin wins and you take Draco!"

ooOoo

"I'm almost _tempted_ to loose." Harry said, later that day in the common room when I reported my conversation with Blaise and Malfoy to him.

"Don't you _dare_, Harry!" I said.

"Why not?" He asked. "You could spend the evening trying to get something out of him! And who knows what kind of information he'd spill under the influence of a bit of butterbeer."

My mouth dropped open.

"You're not being serious, are you?" I said.

Harry shrugged.

"It's an opportunity we should consider."

"_Harry_!" I almost yelled. "I'm not spending my evening with that git just to confirm what we already know, Malfoy doesn't have anything to do with You-Know-Who. Besides, he would drop me the minute we'd get there and start kissing Slughorn's ass."

Harry glared at me.

"We've been through this, Jay." Harry said. "Malfoy replaced his father-"

"He's sixteen!"

"A year away from being of age!"

"_Still _too young to even be considered for _any_ kind of missions by _anyone._"

"We can't be sure. That's why we need to _make _sure."

"Well then go to Slughorn's party with him yourself if you absolutely want to know every single detail of his life."

I stood up and stormed of towards my dormitory, where I found Hermione, still dressed sitting on her bed, her nose buried in our transfiguration textbook. She looked up when I slumped onto my bed.

"Something wrong?" She asked.

"Harry wants me to go to Slughorn's party with Malfoy." I said.

"As if Malfoy would even consider doing that."

I glared at her for a moment.

"I have a bet going on with Blaise and Malfoy. If Slytherin wins tomorrow, I have to go with Malfoy."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at me.

"And now Harry wants to sabotage the game tomorrow, so Slytherin wins."

Hermione slammed her book shut and stood up.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to talk some sense into him." She said casually and left room.

I sighed and laid back down onto my bed.

ooOoo

I refused to go to the game next morning. I refused to come out of my dormitory until the game had started all together as a matter of fact. Harry hadn't talked to me since our fight and I hadn't seen Hermione nor Ron over dinner the night before, as I'd spent it with Blaise at the Slytherin table. I just hoped Hermione had been successful in her attempt to talk some sense into Harry. I wasn't scared of Malfoy, but the prospect of spending an entire evening in his company still sent shivers down my spine. He would spend most of it giving me a hard time and sticking his head up Slughorn's butt as often as he could.

I made my way down to the library, shortly after hearing the whistle blow announcing the start of the match, with the intention of getting a head start on next weeks potions essay. The halls were deserted except for a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws who didn't seem too interested in Quidditch. I set my stuff down on a table at the far end of the library and strode of towards the rows of potions books, just as a certain blond Slytherin appeared from behind a bookshelf.

"Speak of the devil." I muttered under my breath.

He hadn't noticed me, his nose being buried in a book he was reading while walking towards a table not too far away from mine. He seemed in perfectly good health and I started wondering what his excuse for not playing in todays match could be, considering Harry's excessive concern on the subject.

I grabbed a few books on healing potions and strode back to my table, making a slight detour around Malfoy's. He was luckily so engrossed in his reading material that he didn't notice me sending a curious look over his shoulder at the dozens of books on his table.

Charms.

Malfoy was reading and takin notes of what seemed to be every single book on advanced charms that this library contained. I frowned and sat down at my own table, occasionally sending curious looks over to Malfoy. I checked my notes on our charms homework for the next week, there was none apart from reading the chapter on non-verbal spells in our textbook.

Well that was one information that might peak Harry's interest.

I left the library as soon as I heard cheering coming from the halls. Malfoy apparently hadn't noticed as he hadn't budged upon hearing the sudden noise. As a matter of fact he hadn't moved one inch since he'd sat down.

I was greeted by a loud chant of "Weasley is our King!" and cheering students in red and gold, immediately easing the concern I'd had about Harry. I let myself be guided through the corridors by the crowd, headed towards the Gryffindor common room. I was planning on joining them in their celebrations, surely finding Harry among them, but my plans quickly changed as I saw an excessively red-faced Hermione storm into an unlocked classroom, away from the crowd of students. She forcefully shut the door behind her just as I wanted to enter and I swiftly knocked on it before poking my head inside.

Hermione was shaking her hands at her sides, wand in the right while taking deep breaths. I fully entered the room as she hadn't noticed me.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

She stopped her movements and turned around, nodding upon seeing me.

"I'm fine." She said in a brittle voice, sitting down on of the desks.

"Are you sure? You don't really seem like it."

"Have you seen Ron?" She asked.

I sat down on the desk opposite her, placing my hands in my lap as Hermione proceeded to do some wand work.

"Well." She said, conjuring up a little yellow bird. "He's currently _snogging _Lavender." She conjured up another yellow bird.

"Way to celebrate." I tried lightening up the mood while watching a third bird leaving Hermione's wand.

Hermione gave a shaky laugh.

"I guess so." Was all she said, now at her fourth bird. "He definitely seems to be enjoying the celebrations.

I sat there, watching Hermione's fifth bird zoom around her head and pressed my lips together. I didn't quite know what to say. The only other heart breaks I had ever had to deal with were Debbie's, and she was better left alone in those times. I wasn't exactly an expert on the subject.

"Lavender, huh?" Was the only thing I could think of saying.

"She jumped on him as soon as he touched the ground when the match ended." Hermione explained. "He didn't seem to mind. Why would she do that anyway? She's never shown any kind of interest in him. And now suddenly, when he's famous for fighting of Death Eaters and has some battle scars, she's at his feet. She used to mock him for being ginger over the last few years! And she's so – _so _superficial! I can't even believe Ron would pursue _anyone _who's as – asattention seeking a – and silly one-dimensional as her!"

I couldn't do much more than listen to Hermione's rant, not that I had anything to say about it anyway. Hermione was now positively trembling out of fury, her birds aggressively zooming around the room and her eyes starting to grow puffy and red from the tears that had been falling down her cheeks now.

"I thought he'd have the slightest amount of _taste_ but _no_ – he has to go for the first daft _bimbo _that jumps at him! She doesn't even have the slightest talent for anything, really! Have you seen her latest scores! A T in transfiguration – in NEWT-level Transfiguration! I don't understand how anyone could be so amazingly dumb, honestly. Then again, that would explain why she would through herself at someone like _Ron_, she could never possibly provide for herself."

My eyes widened a bit at her fury, but still, the only thing I could think about was-

"Slag."

"Hermione?"

The door opened just a crack and Harry's head poked through it.

"Oh, hello Harry." Hermione said wiping at her eyes. "We were just practicing." She pointed at the few birds still zooming around our heads.

"Everything alright in here?" He asked, now fully entering the room and closing the door behind him, looking a bit taken aback by Hermione's state.

Hermione, however, didn't get a chance to answer his question as, just then, the door to the classroom opened again and the two culprits stepped in, although Lavender left almost immediately, oblivious to the tense atmosphere that followed. Ron's eyes wandered from Harry to me and finally settled on Hermione's distressed form. She glared at him with a force that made both Harry and me flinch a bit before waving her wand and sending the birds after Ron who almost immediately fled the scene, followed by a crying Hermione.

"The next few weeks might get a bit awkward." Harry said, once the door had closed again.

I nodded and stood up from the desk, making my way to the door. Still feeling a bit uncomfortable in Harry's presence after our fight.

"Sorry for yesterday." Harry said quietly.

"It's ok." I said. "Thanks for winning the game.

Harry gave a weak laugh.

"I wasn't going to throw you into a snake pit."

I grinned, suddenly remembering my encounter with Malfoy.

"I saw Malfoy today." I said.

"Where?" Harry asked, leaning against the desk I'd just been sitting on and I closed the classroom door again.

"He was in the library. Taking notes out of advanced charms books. I don't know on what exactly." I said upon seeing Harry's quizzical look. "He spent at least the entire match there, and he got there before me and was still sitting in his place when I left."

"Do we have any charms homework for next week?"

I shook my head.

"All we have to do is read the chapter on non-verbal spells and you don't need notes out of other books for that."

Harry looked at the floor, seemingly lost in thought.

"What would you need charms for?"

"I don't know." I said. "But whatever he's doing – _if _ he's doing anything." I added when Harry looked at me with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "He's not doing it in the open. He's taking notes so he doesn't have to take too many books out of the library and he's doing it while the castle is empty so he won't raise any suspicion. _Or _he's just very interested in charms."

"I don't think so." Harry said and I rolled my eyes. "Malfoy's never been exceptionally talented in charms as far as I know."

I sighed.

"Well, I can't find that out for you, sorry."

Harry smiled weakly.

"Should've lost that game, shouldn't I?"

"Ugh." I made and went for the door again. "If you'll excuse me, I have to find Blaise and tell him what colour his tie should be." I sent him a smile over my shoulder and left the classroom.

ooOoo

I gleefully put my books down on the breakfast table and let myself slump onto the chair next to Blaise, sending Hermione a furtive look, to make sure she wasn't crying again and I wasn't intruding on anything.

"Burst out your joy." Blaise told me casually. "Her porridge isn't as salty as yesterday."

I shot him a nasty look, as Hermione looked stabbed her eggs with her fork.

"Way to cheer people up, Blaise."

"I've been known to spread joy everywhere I set foot, you should know that by now."

I sent a peace of my toast flying towards him, which hit his nose, actually earning myself a faint giggle from Hermione. Good, we were making progress. Although she played brave in front of Harry and Ron (whom she ignored most of the time anyway) Blaise and I had seen her in a much worse state over the last couple of days.

"Now tell me." Blaise said. "What's making you so happy? Finally got to snog Potter?"

I looked at him with wide eyes before remembering that he had no clue what he'd just suggested, before slapping a hand to my mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the laugh escaping it.

"Sure thing, Blaise." I said with a bright smile. "I'll snog Harry, the day you confess your love to Bullstrode."

Blaise made a face at me.

"I just got a letter from Debbie." I said with a grin. "Madam Fox approved my request to stay at Salem over christmas instead of my mom's place."

"So she basically approved to get the house wrecked?" Blaise said, making Hermione laugh once more.

"We're not that bad anymore." I said.

" 'Anymore' " Blaise repeated to Hermione, his eyebrows raised. "Believe me, you don't want to see those two together."

"But I'd love to meet Debbie one day, Blaise." Hermione said smiling.

"We'll spend a week together her mother's place in London over the summer, you could visit!" I said. "By the way Blaise, do you think I could stay with you for the first night of the holidays? My flight's only on the 21st."

"Sure, I'll ask mother." He said.

"'Mione?" I asked, chewing on my bacon.

Hermione warily looked up at me.

"Are you coming to Slughorn's christmas part tonight?" I avoided the gaze, knowing it was a touchy subject.

"I found myself a date week ago." She said matter-of-factly.

"And you didn't tell me?" I asked, feigning chagrin.

"It's McLaggen." She said, more to her breakfast than to us.

Blaise snorted into his pumpkin juice.

"Come again?" I said, hoping I'd heard wrong.

"Who told you that was a good idea, Granger?" Blaise asked amused.

"No one." Hermione said, looking up with dignity. "He asked me and I said yes."

"Why?" I asked.

"He was my only option."

"Honestly Hermione. You could've asked _anyone_ and they would've said yes."

"You could still go with Malfoy." Blaise said.

I slapped his arm.

"He'll annoy Ron the most."

Blaise now positively boomed with laughter and Hermione's face turned a bright red. I shot daggers at him before turning to Hermione.

"Well... Have fun!" I said. "I'm betting you're date's going to be more bearable than mine."

That shut Blaise up.

I spent most of my day packing my trunk with Hermione. It was saturday so we had the day off anyway and we would both be leaving for London the following day. We spent the last few hours before Slughorn's party up in our dormitory, discussing christmas and thoroughly avoiding the subject of McLaggen before getting ourselves ready for the evening. We both met our "dates" at 8 o'clock in the entrance hall. McLaggen had his everlasting arrogant look on his face and Blaise was hiding laughs behind his hand as he shot amused glances at him. I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and made my way over to Blaise, wishing Hermione good luck.

Slughorn's office had been magically enhanced, enabling it to host about a hundred people that were currently bustling around in groups, most of them were former students. Famous former students, some even I knew. In a matter of minutes Slughorn had introduced us to Libatius Borage, a fragile looking old potioneer. Blaise abandoned the conversation soon after to go and talk to Gwenog Jones, captain of some Quidditch team I didn't know. I spent the evening in Borage's company until I saw Snape drag Malfoy out of the room.

"Would you excuse me for a moment, Sir?" My eyes were scanning the crowd. I couldn't make out Harry anywhere and so decided to go after the two myself.

I didn't wait for Borage's "of course, my dear" before I left the party, keeping a safe distance between the duo and myself. I took of my shoes to avoid having my heals make any noise and rushed after them. They vanished in an empty classroom, a few corridors away from the party and I hurried over to the door, quietly pressing my ear against it.

"The Bell girl wasn't your intended target, Draco!" I heard Professor Snape said and frowned.

"You can't avoid a bit of collateral damage." Malfoy sounded smug.

"Don't be foolish. Sooner or later you'll raise suspicions with your silly half-hearted attempts-"

"It isn't any of your business!" Malfoy bursted out.

"I was assigned to help you, Draco."

"I don't need your help. The Dark Lord assigned _me _to kill him. By myself. Without your help, Snape."

I almost jumped as something touched my leg. I looked down, careful not to make any noise and Harry's head appeared next to me knee. He moved to me to leave and I nodded, watching as his head vanished under his invisibility cloak. There was no need for me to eavesdrop on the two out in the open if Harry could do so hidden under his cloak.

I walked away, back towards the party wondering about Malfoy's words. So Harry had been right. Malfoy had been assigned a mission by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. _The Dark Lord_. And that mission was to kill – _kill _someone in this castle. Possibly Harry?

I stopped in a niche when I heard footsteps behind me. A moment later Snape strode past my hiding spot and I took a deep breath. This man was _in on it. _I closed my eyes before I dared step out of the niche just to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled back inside. A moment later I had the tip of a wand pointed between my eyes. I could feel my heart hammering against my chest.

"How much did you hear?"

It was Malfoy. Of course it was Malfoy! The dungeons were in that direction, as well, I could have thought about having him walk by as well.

"Nothing." I said in a high pitched voice.

He let go of my wrist only to grab my chin and pushing me up against the wall, pressing his palm unpleasantly against my throat.

"Don't _lie _to me." He said menacingly.

I was clawing at his wrist standing on my tiptoes, willing him to let go of me.

"I swear Malfoy, I didn't hear anything!"

I was sure he could feel my pulse under his fingers, my heart hammering away at a painful speed.

"Then what were you doing in that corridor?"

"I was on my way to the bathroom!" I blurted out the first excuse that came to my mind.

"_As if." _Malfoy gnarled. "The bathroom's the other way, Carter!"

"Malfoy, get off me!" I said a bit panicky and tried to push him away, to pull his had off my throat.

"Forget it. What did you hear?!"

"Nothing!"

I was shamefully aware of the few tears that managed to slip through my eyelashes as he slammed me into the wall behind me, the back of my head throbbing painfully.

"Malfoy, you're hurting me!"

"I don't give a fuck." Malfoy said threateningly low. "Whatever it is you heard me and Snape say, Carter. You better forget it quickly." He slammed my head into the wall once more and I winced. "Is that clear? Because if any of it comes out, Carter, you're first on my list of suspects. And do you know what that means?" All I could do was whimper. "You're dead."


End file.
